It still ain't OD&D, but...

Lately, I'm running a 1E AD&D campaign called Planewrack. My OD&D efforts have been negligible this year...and I feel kind of bad about that. Still, I am jotting a ton of notes for gaming projects and wanted to share some of those from my humor fantasy project.

Here are some notes for monster entries that could show up in any of a number of FFRPG (Funny Fantasy RPG) efforts in the near-ish future. Maybe they will provide a bit of amusement.

• Bashilisk: Like a ceratops dinosaur with a petrifying gaze. Charges headlong into confrontations and tends to petrify by sheer accident. Rumored to have been created by a drunken wizard or deity with slurred speech.
• Blondie: Really dumb brownie.
• Chemogorgon: Metallic bull with a variety of gaseous breath weapons.
• Devaluer: Monster that reduces worth of precious stones and metals. Kind of a lesser rust monster that adds flaws and imperfections.
• Evangelatin: Divinely-infused ooze.
• Flabberghast: Undead. Also flabberghoul.
• Golem, Porcelain: Also known as the Portal Potty, this construct usually takes the form of a large, ornate free-standing water closet. When a living being sits upon this magical commode, the power of the golem may transport the individual to another toilet somewhere in the world. A rare few are possessed of a sick sense of humor or a general dislike of humankind and may dump the individual into the local sewer instead.
• Gramon: Terrifying creature that is half-grape and half-lemon.
• Grisly Bear: Horrifying creature like a bear turned inside-out.
• Herosite: Teeny tiny critter that infests particularly weak-willed or enthusiastic adventurers and pushes the host into acts of ever-increasing foolhardiness. Boosts PC abilities while feeding on adrenaline, booze and glory.
• Loonycorn: The jesters of the unicorn race. Parti-colored and slightly mad.
• Mist, Econo: A type of vapor that looks to be inundated with bits of metallic glitter of many colors. Will transmute metal it contacts into a metal of a different type. The effect seems to be random.
• Pigme: Small pig-featured humanoid capable of turning others into pigs. Known for their constant cries of “pig me – pig me.”
• Rhinoceress: Female rhino spellcaster.
• Scuttlefish: Large, sneaky sea creature that makes holes in the bottom of boats and ships.
• Tank Ewe: Massive sheep known for exceptionally thick skulls and a devastating charge-and-trample attack. Source of steel wool.
• Wooly Bully: Tyrannical leader of the Black Sheep.